Thursday, July 9, 2009

Yesterday was so discouraging!!!!

Where do I begin? I have been sick for over three weeks now! For anyone who knows me sitting still or stopping is just not something I do. I squeeze as many tasks as I possibly can in a day so being down for this long is driving me crazy. I have been visiting my doctor twice a week. I was told by the ER that I have Bronchitis but after a follow up my doc thought it could possibly be Pneumoina. That has still not been confirmed.

As my lungs started getting better I began getting frequent dizzy spells. Again I visited my doctor who ran some labs and instructed me not to drive until we could figure out what’s going on. (I am currently working on finding a personal chauffeur lol) Although they did not find anything to explain the dizziness in the labs my liver levels (not sure what that means) came back high so again I went in for more testing. I am waiting from the results back from yesterdays labs and I have an abdomen ultra sound scheduled for next week. We are hoping the high levels are because of all the meds I have been on.

After that appointment I went to the physical therapist to address the pinched nerve in my left shoulder. There are some concerns because of how tight the muscle is. She says that she can work with me on getting better but because I constantly lift David the chances of my shoulder stay well are not great. She then proceeded to explain to me that my body can not handle the physical strain of lifting a 65lb kid around and I needed to start thinking of alternatives. I am not sure what she meant but at that point I got very upset. Now I need to do special exercises to care for myself so I can care for David like I do not have enough on my plate.

The truth is I know I need to begin to face the facts and they are that no matter how much I love David or how much I am willing to do for him, Physically there will be a day that I can no longer lift him on my own. But there are no alternatives for me. Unless God sends me a big buff man or a million dollars so I can pay someone to lift David I don’t know what I am going to do. I do know that giving David up would never be an option!

Insult to injury right before bed David had a 15 minute seizure to top off the day. We called the Fire Department because this seizure was very different from his typical seizure but he was fine and of course smiling by the time it was all said and done.

Sometimes I get tired of being patience; I question God and his timing, and don’t understand how much I need to endure to prove I am a strong woman. Anyway I am done being a winer I am over it! Today’s a new day and I am just going to have to see what today brings. I refuse to fear the future I will excitedly wait to see what comes! =)