Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Well all else fails...PRAISE GOD!



Well all else fails...PRAISE GOD!

Today's emotions: Broken and Desperate...



Desperate for him to wake up, smile, breath on his own! I just want my Daday back and this pain in my heart to go away! Please God I know your listening and if things aren't going to change for the time being,  please bring us comfort and peace :(

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

This journey has come with a world wind of emotions which can change from moment to moment.

 I like to say that in Crisis I become “situational Bipolar”. As a human I can not always control how I feel about things. It seems as if I have experienced a million emotions this past week. I have felt sad, angry, frustrated, desperate, faithful, hopeful, hopeless, thankful, helpless, inspirational, brave, cowardly, and that is just to name a few. Today I have been overcome with pain and anger. Not angry at God because I do trust he is in control just disappointed with life and the pain that comes with it.

In Mommies Arms Again


I was able to hold David for the first time since Thursday ;) The Hospital staff has been Amazing. They were explaining to us that they were going to give him a sponge bath and change his linens. I asked how they were going to do that with David in the bed and the nurses explained to me that their plans was to roll him from one side of the bed to the other. I tried to stay composed but as the tears ran down my cheeks I asked “can I hold him while you change his bedding?” “I just need him in my arms I explained and I haven’t been able to hold my child since Thursday”. The nurse was hesitant, she told me that she had never allowed a parent to hold a child while he/she was ventilated before but she was willing to try it if she could get the other staff willing to help. She probably felt sorry for me or felt my desperation but, she pulled it off. (we bribed them with candy!) Five staff member stopped what they were doing and came in to help me hold my beautiful little boy. I knew and they knew that they were doing it more for mommies heart than anything else but those three minutes provided me a lot of healing.

Monday, February 27, 2012

David is Proof That Miracles Still Exist! God is Real!!!!

02/25/12
David is now on 100% life support. Last night a doctor who has treated him since he was a child was called in to come speak to me. We talked about David's contagious giggles, his amazing spirits, & how much he had grown. Then he gently put his hand and my knee & said "mom his lungs are in bad shape, I know he is a fighter but you must be prepared that there is a high chance he won't make it through this". My heart sank & I began to cry uncontrollably explaing to the doctor why I needed David & why he couldn't leave me! Life without David is unimaginable for me! I need his smile, his pure, spirit, his unconditional love...we all do! If David continues to get worse the doctors have already informed us that there is not much more they can do for him, which is fine because I know my God can handle the rest! Family and friends I need EVERYONE praying for a miracle please repost this have your friends pray, have their friends pray, there is power in numbers & I can't loose my Dayday nor can this world afford to loose this little Angel either!

02/27/12
So over the last few days I have had many conversations with God: I have been on my knees, pleaded, cried out, even bartered begging that God would spare my son’s life. I promised to never again complain about how heavy David had gotten, about changing his diapers, and I even agreed to let him throw all of my favorite shoes in the toilet just for him to survive this. I have spent the last few days being the most lost and broken I can ever remember being. I could not imagine life with out my Angel and although, many people think I have been David’s rock the truth is that he has been mine! After hours upon hours of negative reports, and the doctors telling me that my son probably won’t make it through this, I petitioned all of YOU! I was desperate and although I knew God could hear me alone, I also knew that having all of our FB family in friends, including Arizona, California, Texas, Washington, and basically half the world praying would just make the need for an immediate miracle heard load and clear. Many strangers have reached out to us, people who don’t even pray have stopped to stay a prayer for David and I, and I am happy to announce that despite what doctors said our God had different plans! You all have been part of a MIRICALE! I am excited to share with you that last night David opened his eyes for the first time, he sat up, and he has been moved back down to the smaller ventilator! Words can not express how very much your prayers, love, support, and words of encouragement has meant to my family during this very discouraging time. Please know that your voices and prayers are so very powerful and you have made a very important difference to a very special little boy and his heartbroken mommy!



Saturday, February 25, 2012

Our Latest Adventures & Hospital Stays

02/16/12

What started as a trip to the doctor became quite an adventure! Praise God we are home and mommy is very excited to shower, change, brush my teeth, eat real food, and sleep in my own bed tonight =) David is doing great and as for now no surgery =) Thanks for all the prayers and warm wishes!!!


02/20/12

5 years ago today I lost my best friend and the most important man in my life. As the years have past it has gotten easier but today I can remember that phone call like it was yesterday. I hope you’re a peace now daddy, I hope your watching us, and I hope I have made you proud! I would do anything to feel your embrace again or even just to hear you curse me out ;( Just know you are dearly missed today and everyday. David and I love and miss you so very much!!!


02/23/12

What started as a trip to the doctor became quite an adventure! Praise God we are home and mommy is very excited to shower, change, brush my teeth, eat real food, and sleep in my own bed tonight =) David is doing great and as for now no surgery =) Thanks for all the prayers and warm wishes!!!


While checking David's vitals he started seizing! He seized for almost an hour ;( He seized so bad he bit his younger & lip & blew all the blood vessels in his eyes. He has a 105.8 fever which they are desperately trying to get down and he is not moving the left side of his body. Please say a prayer for us mommy is falling to pieces! We are getting a CT now then we are headed to ICU...I will keep everyone posted.


His seizure has subside & David is now resting peacefully :). Now that it is over mommy can go melt down in a corner somewhere!


02/24/25

It is torture watching my son suffer. I wish I could take his place…but I can’t I am stuck watching helplessly by his side. He is heavily sedated, he still can not breathe on his own and when he is moved he becomes very agitated and moans. The only thing that seems to calmed him is me gently rubbing his forehead. The doctors still can not tell me what if any damage the hour long seizure and the 105.8 fever might have had on him so, for now we pray and wait for him to wake up and see how he responds. My brother is taking over David duty while I am off to work. I already missed most of last week and don’t have enough time accumulated to miss again so I am saving my sick days in case things get worse. (Which I hope and pray that they don’t). Wish me luck I am on 2 hours of sleep, an emotional wreck, and I can’t seem to stop crying =( JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!!


Thanks for all the prayers, love, & support! it really does help keep us strong in moments like this! it looks like it might have possibly been pneumonia that triggered the fever, which triggered the seizure, which caused his fever to go even higher. We are still waiting on test results & for David to open his eyes & respond :(

I'm scared, growing weary, & feeling very helpless right now. I just want to see my Daydays smile! The harder this gets the more I miss my dad ;( but then my big brother calls me & comforts me with his faith & words of wisdom! I feel peace right now & I know this storm to will pass...I just pray it passes soon!



02/25/12

Today's Update: doctors cannot explain why David's lung are getting worse but they are. They have had to sedate him because he is fighting the machines. He is in a Bi-pap but they will be ventilating him in the next hour. He is slowly getting food from an NG tube in his nose and they are trying to get a PIC line started. Once he settled they will be doing a Spinal Tap. Still answers no answers; everything is still a mystery at this time so I'm leaving it all in God's hands!


I am so tired and so scared right now and the only strength I can rely on is God's! I just asked the doctor for a prognosis and he told me that all we can do is wait things out. I'm not a patient person! I hate waiting so I ask well can you just tell me he is going to be ok his response was "I can't tell you that people can die from pneumonia but many people do recover, we just don't know". Not the answer I was looking for :(


I'm scared, growing weary, & feeling very helpless right now. I just want to see my Daydays smile! The harder this gets the more I miss my dad ;( but then my big brother calls me & comforts me with his faith & words of wisdom! I feel peace right now & I know this storm to will pass...I just pray it passes soon!


There have been doctors & specialist in & out of our room all day. They have given David Plasma, put him on a feeding tube, all kinds of meds, and a ventilator & yet he is not getting better? I have been trying to figure out what's going on but I feel like the doctors are just as confused as I am & keep going in circles. They just started paging the docs & respiratory to our room STAT so I asked the nurse what was going on. Again I got a fluffy answer, so I looked at him in his eye's and said "look I have been doing this for 15 years, this little boy is my world & I need the truth about his current condition" after hesitating for a moment as if he were looking for gentle words to say what he was about to say he then told me... your son is in Critical Condition... he is getting worse every hour and we are just trying to figure out what else to do for him. My heart is sooo broken right now! the pain & fear is unbearable! Please God don't take him from me, I NEED HIM...THIS WORLD NEEDS HIM!