Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Thank you God because without you I am, we are nothing!

Friends joke that I am Bipolar and have multiple personalities right now. (At the present time I can not deny it) 

Yesterday was definitely personality #14 ~ grieving daughter/fearful mother… 

So right be for my father died they put him on a BIPAP. It is the same breathing machine they have had David on. My father would tell me about how uncomfortable it felt, how the machine made him feel like he was suffocating. It during his last illness that my father expressed to me how hard it was for him just to take every breath, he was tired, and he told me the only reason he was fighting to stay alive was to fulfill promises he had made to me. I realized I was being selfish and told him if he needed to go he could go, and within 30 days my father, my best friend left me to be with Jesus.

The night the doctors told me David would probably not make it, he told me that he knew David was a fighter, a soldier, but that he was probably tired and might not have what it takes to get through this battle. Last night watching him so sad on the machine, the tears running down his face, and the desperation in his eyes made me remember my experiences with my father. My heart ached so very much! I did not want my son to become tired like grandpa and go home, and the thought of that made me very emotional.

Then I remembered that this is not our battle at all… That it doesn’t matter how weak, tired, hurt, emotional, or weary David and I may get. This battle is the Lord’s and his power is beyond any sickness or disease.

Today we are much better. I got my first giggle out of David. He thinks it’s funny when I move the bed up and down. Just when I feel too weak or hurt to fight anymore God gives me exactly what I need to push forward. Thank you God because without you I am, we are nothing!



3 comments:

  1. Hi Michelle, you don't know me. I saw ur story on facebook. I DO NOT reach out to ppl I don't know (normally) I feel compelled to tell you THANKYOU for reminding me to hug my children, and value their preciousness (more than I already do) David is TRUELY and inspiration and u r a testimate of strength, and faith.... What a mommy is. Its absolutely beautiful the strength and love you and your child share.... I wanted u to know u have yet another person praying for u. Thankyou again. May god bless u and David, give u strength, peace and giggles with eachother! Your family clearly deserves it.

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  2. Dear Michelle,

    My heart goes out to you and DayDay. As a fellow teacher at our school and parent of a very SPECIAL son, I am holding you near my heart every day. My oldest grandson suffered by survived through 54 days in a coma from a traumatic brain injury three years ago. I slept every night next to him holding his favorite stuffed animal to keep him close to my aching heart. After 54 days , he woke up and our faith in God was rewarded with a smile and I love you mouthed as his first communication.
    Always keep the gift you have given DayDay all these years as a reminder of why God gave him to you and made a home with you for him.

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  3. Michelle,
    I just wanted to let you know that my family, friends, and church members are all praying for you and David. Your faith and strength is inspirational. I am so happy that David has been making such wonderful progress. We will continue to pray for you both as you go through this together.

    Anne (Valley View Librarian)

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