Monday, March 12, 2012

We will believe the report of the Lord.

Today is the day...

Although, David is making progresses considering the “battle” his little body has fought, the change in his personality and his ability to do simple things he has done in the past has caused some concern.  

He is still not talking, he can’t lift himself up, or even sit up without assistance, the things that once stimulated him like social interaction and music no longer interest him, and there are days he just stares up at the ceiling as if he is lost. 

This week he has begun therapy; speech, occupational and physical.  We are hoping that will help.  The Speech therapist is concerned with David’s swallowing since intubation.  They fear that if he swallows wrong he can aspirate which can cause pneumonia.   They are no longer allowing him to eat anything by mouth until he gets a swallow study done sometime today.   This means we are back to Pediasure through his NG tube.  I am praying that this study will determine what the problem is and how we can fix it.

David’s Neurologist is also very concerned with David’s current state so we will be also having an MRI and EEG done today.  The doctor says that the test will let us know if this “event” (his 105.8 fever, his hour long seizure, and the virus causing a lack of oxygen to his brain) caused any permanent damage to David’s brain and if so to what extent, and on what part of his brain.

He then informed me that even if we do find damage there is not much we can do about it.  The information from the test today will only help us understand David and provide an explanation for his current state, but that there is nothing we can do for damage already done but be aware of it.

It was so much information to take in and after previous conversations with doctors I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what the doctors thought about David or his prognosis.  Tears began to run down my face, the doctor began to explain how lucky David was to be alive!  He said David surviving with all the odds against him in his condition was “remarkable” in my terms “a miracle”.  He began to explain how critical David’s condition had gotten.  Everything during that week, in those moments is still a big blur to me.  Maybe at some point someone did share this information with me but yesterday was the first time I actually heard it.

I knew David’s lungs were failing and that is why he was ventilated (had machine breathing for him) but I was not aware that the rest of his organs were also starting to shut down and fail.  The doctor explained that David was slowly dying and that him still being with us was “remarkable” aka “a miracle”.  Now I am glad I didn’t know all these facts because it would have made it harder to cope with the current situation, but knowing now allows me to realize how amazing and powerful my God is. 

As the doctor left the room he turned back and said “you have been an amazing heroic mother through all of this” I just smiled and thought “only because I am staying strong for an amazing heroic son”. 

I am trying to stay strong, I want to comfort my son, hold him, tell him it’s going to be OK, and that this will all be over soon but we are still waiting on answers.

I am doing all that I can…                                         
Some days that’s singing in his ear, sponge bathing him, keeping his little body rotated, apply massive amounts of Carmex to his dry little mouth; I just want him to know I am there.
Some days I lay in the bed with him for hours even though I am not tired and my ADHD is driving me crazy just so he can feel me near.  I even stare at the ceiling with him just so he knows he’s not alone.  I am not sure what he sees up their,  He might see Jesus but all I have seen is 59 ceiling tiles. ;)

I am hoping for the best and trusting God to be in the midst of it all.  No matter what the test results determine or what the doctors may say…  We will believe the report of the Lord.  

1 comment:


    Listened to this song on You Tube and I thought you would relate to it.
    "When It Rains It Pours" (BIGWO) Warren & Chrystal Stewrart - Directed by Kevin Jones.
    Hope the above address takes you to it.
    Roxie Larson