Thursday, March 8, 2012

When I forget that “he will not leave me nor forsake me”, Jesus does not get offended he just proves it!

I have been so busy worrying about David’s health that I have not been able to think about or process anything else. 

Just a couple of days ago I realized that since I just started working in January, I have only accrued one sick day.  I have already been absent for almost 3weeks now.  My school has been AMAZINGLY supportive and understanding with the entire situation but unfortunately next payday I will not be receiving a pay check.  

The reality has begun to sink in that even though David and Mommies world has somewhat come to a halt, the rest of the world continues on, bills are still due.  The thought of how I am going to pay my mortgage and cover my bills has been extremely overwhelming for me.  I have had to just trust God to provide because that’s all I can do right now, but to be honest the more the bills pile up, the more I worry how God plans on  providing. 

I am a tough girl, who hates asking for help. Very few people know about our current financial situation or what kind of bind this hospital stay has put us in.  I have and probably always will be that person who is always trying to save the world and am a very giving person, but I struggle to know how to be on the receiving end of things. 

Today was an emotionally overwhelming day and although, I rejoiced that my son was being moved from ICU, I was also very discouraged and hurt by the doctor’s words, and stressed about figuring out how to manage all the bills with no income.  After the doctor upset me I left the hospital.  I went home to get some air, get some clothes, and look at the finances.   As I set in my office and began to weep, crying out to God. I recieved a phone call.  I almost didn’t answer it but for some reason I did. 

It was David’s teacher.  He was calling to inform me that he works as an assistant coach at Gateway Community College and after hearing our story they wanted to help.  They had decided to sale 100 bracelets for us and are also hosting a car wash for David.  My heart was so touched I again wept.  (Gosh I am such a cry baby these days)  It is almost as if God keeps gently reminding me that “I got this”.  When life feels so hopeless and I begin to feel alone he God reaffirms that he is listening and does hear my cries!  When I am not sure if or how he is going to provide he shows me.  When I am not sure if I can endure another day of emotional torture he sends me a sign that things are and will continue to get better.   

Thank You Jesus, Mr. Berge, Gateway Community College, Valley View Elementary, Caesar Chavez High School, and everyone who has emailed, visited, and supported us throughout this endeavour!!!


  1. Michelle, if there's one thing I'm good's Networking!

    Feel free to share this link wherever and however you'd like and I plan to do the same. ;)

    Bobbi-Jo Asher

  2. In the last couple of weeks I have experienced a world wind of emotions. Some of those have been very painful & hard to deal with! The human in me, has wanted to crumble on many occasions, but it is the love & kindness of family, friends, colleagues, & even perfect strangers who have kept me encouraged & lifted up in prayer. It is through that kindness that I have been able to feel God,s warm embrace, even in the midst of the storm! Words alone can not thank you enough, but know that I am so eternally grateful and will when given the opportunity "pay it forward".