Thursday, July 18, 2013

What to do?

Five years ago I had my life all planned out.  After college I would find a great man, get married, begin a family, and settle in to the perfect career for me.  When things didn't happen as I had planned I became very discouraged.    I had made so many sacrifices and worked so very hard to not be able to obtain the personal goals that I set for my life.

I have questioned both God and myself on the matter.  As I have reflected on the things that "didn't go as planned" I realize that God had put me exactly where he wanted me for the time being. The situations I've been put in and the experiences I have had although, not what I anticipated for my life, have been very beneficial to me as a person and my growth as a professional.  Looking back I can now see how my steps were God ordained.  I was placed exactly where I needed to be to become who I want to be and live the life I so desire.

That being said I'm currently in a situation that I did not plan to be in.  I'm struggling with knowing if god has placed me here for a reason and to embrace the change, or if I need to follow my heart and search for change.  If where I am at is where God wants me, I will embrace the experience and adapt as necessary.  I just don't want to settle.

Today I realized that there was a miscommunication between the district and myself and the class I'm assigned to is not the population that I want to work with. Now I need to determine if if there's a purpose for me being there or if I should start looking for a different position.  My last job was not what I was looking for, but looking back I realize that through the experience I gained a wealth of knowledge and friendships that were well worth the sacrifice.

The older I become the more intense my need for stability becomes.   I'm ready to meet a man I can spend the rest of my life with, find a job I can settle in, and find a home I can raise David and more children in.    This news has thrown me for a curve ball and is a complete game changer.  What to do?

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