Saturday, March 14, 2015
It is amazing what happens when you quit chasing change and start chasing God!
I am beginning to notice that every time I go through a trial in my life the end result is a better ME. Through my brokenness and trials I have learned to cherish life and be content with what God has already given me.
For many years the burden of David’s health has plagued me. I wanted more than anything in the world for my son to be healthy. Naturally I longed for that but, after almost losing him three years ago I realized that I have a perfect child and our purpose on this earth is being fulfilled with our lives just as they are.
As I have gotten older I have longed to be young again. There are days that lifting David and caring for him takes all the energy I have. Recently after a cancer scare I realized how truly blessed I am that I even have the ability and strength to do what I do. Everyday now, I count my blessings and thank God that he has given me strength and resilience to persevere.
Once I hit my 30’s I felt this pressure of what my life should look like and be. I had pursued an education and accomplished that, I own a home, have a great career, yet still felt inadequate because in my mind my fairytale ending included a prince charming and babies. I was not allowing myself to enjoy the incredible life and accomplishments I had been blessed to experience due to the fact that I was placing my value in my marital status among other things.
It is remarkable how God teaches me some of the most crucial life lessons through brokenness and situations far from ideal. After an unfortunate experience with someone I thought could be a potential life partner I realized that my error was expecting anything or anyone but God to increase my value. In this case I found that when I got what I thought I wanted and needed it felt as if my value was decreasing.
I realized I was chasing my dreams and not Gods dreams for me. Through my shattered dreams I realized that I don’t need health, youth, a partner, or anything temporary on this earth to complete me. God has promised that “He who started a good work will be faithful to complete it” and I will stand on his promises.
For the first time ever in my life the only thing I am chasing is Jesus. Instead of seeking a partner or perfection, I now seek the Lord. As a result I can now clearly see how God has abundantly blessed us. How he has protected us and allowed unfortunate circumstances and encounters to build character and instill faith in our lives. I am no longer driven by my desire for more. I am learning to love myself and be content with who God has created me to be. I am discovering how to love life just as it is, in the moment, regardless of the obstacles in our path.
So often I would become frustrated with life when it seemed to take me down a road I did not plan on traveling. Through God’s perfect understanding I now see that some of those roads were necessary to get me to my final destination. A place of peace, comfort, healing, and the best of all… The presence of my Lord and Savior!
Embrace the challenges in your life because if you allow them to, they can make you a better you.