Friday, November 27, 2015

Wishing my perfect little angle a Happy 19th Birthday!

19 years ago today God blessed me with a precious gift, a fragile little boy who would teach me so many valuable life lessons. Since birth David has taught me how to appreciate the wonderful joys of life. Even with out words David has inspired me, taught me how to be courageous, brave, an inspiration, how to preserver, and most importantly how to live intentionally, and be Christ like in all that I do.

David was a God send who despite all of the challenges he had to face, still somehow managed to save me from myself while helping me find my purpose. I am and always will be eternally grateful for David and God’s grace. I am so honored that God entrusted me as his mother. He has truly been the wind beneath my wings!


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I can't thank you all enough for all of love and support.

This weekend while in North California for my nieces wedding David started showing signs of the onset of a cold.  I immediately started him on Garlic oil, vitamin C, and Zicam.  We returned home on Monday night and on Tuesday morning I sent him to school and then returned to work to enjoy Thanksgiving festivities with my munchkins at school.  During breakfast I received a call from David's school that he was looking grey so they had the nurse check his oxygen saturation levels and his SAT's were at 74%.  They immediately put him on oxygen and called 911.

I still struggle with anxiety over David getting sick and that phone call this morning took me back to a place I try to avoid.  Not only was my baby in respiratory distress, but I was also not by his side.  I tried to pull myself together as I rushed to be by his side.

The last time David's oxygen saturation levels dropped that low was on February 23rd, 2012. I took David to the emergency room for a runny nose, and within hours his organs began to fail and I was told that he was not going to survive the night.  I waited by his bedside pleading with God to spare his life and after days of anxiously waiting for David to respond, breath, open his eyes, and smile again, God granted us the miracle I so desperately pleaded for.  It took a year for David to fully recover, but I am the other hand has spent the last three years trying to emotionally heal from the ordeal.

I know that my God is bigger than any fear or circumstance but I still struggle with severe anxiety over the thought of loosing David.  Ironically I don't fear death, my fear having to live life without David.  I continue to lay theses thoughts and feelings at God's feet.  So David and I are going to spend the rest of our day with Jesus as we both recover from our scare.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Throughout the years I have learned that the best way to overcome crisis in your own life is to shift the focus from yourself towards others who might have it worse.

This past week has been draining and I have been attacked in almost every area of my life. Physically I am exhausted. My body aches and I'm fighting a cold. Financially I have been trying to resolve over $3000 of fraudulent charges on my credit card. In addition to all of the other obstacles I have been facing, I found out my mother is in the hospital with pneumonia, leaving me feeling helpless and too far away to help.

Despite everything going on in my life, this morning I decided that instead surrendering to the current state of crisis in my own life, that I would step out in faith and go serve others. No sooner then I pack my car with the food box and headed to deliver it, I got a phone call informing me that my mom is recovering and in stable condition. God is so faithful!

Monday, November 2, 2015

I finished up my dental work today, but they were unable to save my crown.  The thought of another expense when I am already overwhelmed by other unexpected expenses got me really upset.  I tried to fight back the tears as I explained to the dentist that I was only going to be able to address our original dental concerns until I could figure out my finances. He left for a minute and then came back and told me that he wanted to make sure that I got all the work I needed, done and he did not want money to be an obstacle.  He then reduced the fee for the second crown by more than half and offered to cap my dental implant that  broke for almost nothing.  

Those concerns and worries were private conversation between God and I.   Once the dentist was done going over the new payment plan I could no longer hold back the tears.  The dentist had know idea that God was going to use him to answer my prayers.  I sat with my mouth open, a drill going, and tears running down my face, I knew God was with me.  #Godisalwaysfaithful