Friday, March 18, 2016
I prayed for favor as I walked into the Social Security office this morning. Not only did I pray for favor but then I stood on the word of God, faithfully believing that favor is exactly what I would get.
I still struggle every time I have to walk into an agency that requires me to report to them about how I care for my child, manage my home, and my finances. It feels as if you have to check your pride and dignity at the door. For us, it's also a reminder that David's father chooses not to help or participate in his life, making the load even heavier for me.
The interview did not go as I had planned, but I am confident it went as God had planned. At one point The woman conducting the interview even looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "I'm sorry it's a system we forced to work with, not that we all agree with it". The conversation led us into discussion about advocacy and the importance for families to not give up and find their voices. I shared pictures of David's smile with her and I got to share my testimony of how and why I decided to become a Special Educator.
By the end of the meeting I knew Jesus was there with us. I also knew that my anxiety and emotions are more about how out-of-control so many relevant factors in my life are right now.
Reflecting I realize that I don't need control because God has a much greater handle on my future than I ever will. Undoubtably I know that God has a much greater plan that I just can't yet understand.
So although things don't look like they ended up in our favor. I know they did!