Monday, May 9, 2016

We will forever miss you baby girl! RIP Cadance

Several people have inquired about our dog Cadance.  I haven't posted any updates because I have spent the last week trying to process the ordeal.  Cadance was David's service dog that was given to us almost 5 years ago.  Two weeks ago Cadance started vomiting and showing signs of heart failure.  We took her into the emergency vet and they found a mass near her heart that was causing the sack around her heart to fill with blood.   This is what was causing her to go into heart failure.

The next day we had her transferred to Cobblestone Veterinary Care.  The family vet was able to find a mass in her Spline.  They biobased the mass and we anxiously waited for the results.  The biopsy results confirmed that what our fur baby was struggling to overcome was in fact incurable Cancer.  Over the next week we spent quality time with her.  We knew her time on this earth would be limited, but we did not know if that would mean days or months.

The following Monday (May 2nd) I got a text from my brother that Cadance had began to vomit again.  I must have instinctively know that the time to say goodbye was drawing near, because it felt like that text ripped my heart out.  I kept my composure through our staff meeting and then rushed home to see what was going on with her. 

I called Brian and we decided to get her to the vet.  Shortly after arriving an ultrasound confirmed that the sack around her heart was filling with blood again.  It was then that I realized I was going to have to make decision.  The vet offered two options.  The first option was to attempt to remove the blood from the sack surrounding her heart again or the lay her to rest.  An Onocologist had looked at her scans and gave her no more than a month to live.  Ultimately our dog had a terminal illness and all I could do is either prolog her death or let her go peacefully.  After selfishly watching my father battle for his life, I knew I needed to be selfless in this decision, and that I had to decide what was best for Cadance. 

That was one of the most traumatic decisions I have ever had to make.  I held her in my arms until she took her last breath.  I weeped as I thanked her for her service and apologized for my shortcomings.  I am so grateful for Brian Daugherty, Shelley Daugherty, and Mom for holding my hand through this process.  I could not have done it alone.

Through it all, I realize how valuable life is and how important it is to cherish every precious moment you have (even on days that life hurts or your heart aches).  It's been rough,  I've been angry, I've been sad,  I have felt tired, and overwhelmed, but I still stand firm knowing our breakthrough is just around the corner.  I will not allow Satan to win this one.  Ultimately I know that this is just a test and there's no way I can fail the test when I have chosen to learn from the master of instructors.

So if you notice I am pulling away, distant, or different in any way please understand that we are grieving.  We have had to face a tremendous amount of loss this year and although I know God is in control, earthly matters still hurt my human heart.

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