I don’t vent on here often but today has been one of those days that I just absolutely need to be a human with an outlet. I’m so frustrated with our educational system and how unfair and unequitable it is. Teachers should not have to fight this hard to ensure that our students are getting the services they are legally entitled to.
I know God is calling me to a different place and I just have to trust him even though I’m still unsure of the final destination. That being said my heart breaks knowing I am walking away from a community that means so much to me. I love what I do with the little lives and my staff in the classroom, but Teaching requires so much more. More than it is fair for me to give to others and not my own child. I have loved almost every second of this journey, but I know after this year it is time for me to take a professional leap of faith and focus my energy on transitioning my own son into adulthood. Our Educational system is just too difficult to fight from the inside and it’s time I create greater change for our community from a different approach.
Sometimes I just wish people could understand that my advocacy and fight is in honor of David, my incredible students, and all our fallen HEROS journeys. Zachary Lashley, Jessica Dunn, Seth Ross, Chrissy Noel Feola-Thau, Stormy Goodwin, Sara Evans Necheé Chrystal Stewart.
Most people in education will never be able to fully understand the passion behind my advocacy or why I take on some of the battles I do, but they also don’t have to witness hundreds of their friends lost in this very same system, fighting for their precious child’s educational rights. A fight many of us Parents and Teachers often don’t have the time or energy for.
I hope one day more people can acknowledge and understand just how difficult it is to be a special needs parent. We have to fight for EVERYTHING in addition too our daily duties and responsibilities. We fight for every service, our children’s medical devices, and with insurance companies, all while managing a load far beyond any human capabilities. We are often forced to travel down roads only God can travel with us. I take pride in knowing my family’s won’t have to fight for their child’s educational rights while in my program. If a fight needs to be had I make sure I handle it, because I know what it’s like to be a tired Special Needs Parent walking that road.
I also think it’s hard for most people who haven’t walk this journey to understand that sometimes our children’s time on this earth is limited. Every second of every day that we have with them matters. We don’t have days, weeks, months, or years to waste. Our time with them is precious, valuable, and must be treasured!
This year more than ever before the battle has taken a toll on me. It has been filled with mixed and overwhelming emotions. I want more than anything else to make a difference and sometimes it feels like my relentless efforts are not creating the change I’ve been praying and hoping for.
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t of witnessed all the injustices in our educational system. It hurts to see children failed. Now that I have seen what a crisis our educational system is in there’s no turning back for me. I cannot and will not stop until I see change. I know there will be days like today that the battle has me feeling extremely weary, but I also know that God will give me the strength to continue forward in this fight for educational equality!
Is it not reasonable to ask us Parents, Special Educators, or any Educator to lower our standards or expectations?
