I am learning that if I quit focusing on all the little things that don't matter, so I am able to see all the big things that do...
Thank you Lord for the amazing Monday you have blessed me with. I woke up tired, but this morning I woke up!

Hug your kids today and enjoy them…

This morning I woke up to David playing.  He was just lying next to me with his favorite toy, which of course happens to be the noisiest toy in the house.  I tried to cover my face with my pillow but all I could hear was “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” over and over and over again.    I just wanted it to stop, I just wanted one more hour of sleep.  When I realized that it wasn’t going to happen, I surrendered to my fait and just watched my son repetitively push the foot of his Teddy Bear as it sang the same song, again, and again. In that moment I realized… He is back!

I then got up to put him on the toilet.  When he was done I realized that he had put something (God knows what) in the toilet and as a result my pipes/plumbing were backed up.  I think I have the plumber on speed dial and they have me down as a VIP customer.  My first instinct was to panic, another expense and issue to deal with… Ugh…  then I look over at David and vividly remember the nights I laid awake praying and longing for the day that he could again breath on his own, respond to his desperate mother, and yes play with his annoying toys, and put stuff in the toilet again.  I again realized…   He is back!

I appreciate those things that once drove me so crazy.  When forced to think of life without them I realized that I treasure who David is and what he does even when it wakes me up at 7am on my day off or creates a $150.00 plumbing bill. 

Hug your kids today and enjoy them… Everything about them, because those little moments that drive us parents insane are memories we will cherish one day.  Don’t let those moments slip away, laugh about them, and be thankful that our children are here to drive us crazy!

BTW ~ I am anxiously waiting for his Bears batteries to die ;) 

Read all about David's ride in the Bat Mobile. It's an amazing Hope-Filled Story!

http://www.gothamcitymotors.com/gothamcitymotors.com/BLOG_12.html

Just got back from the school talent show, got to watch our students perform. They all did Amazing!   I am brought  David so that all the Valley View staff, students, & families who wrote to him, prayed for him, and/or followed our blog daily could finally meet our little or shall I say BIG MIRACLE. They were all very excited to meet my him and he loved jamming out and all the attention ;) 

♥ ♥ ♥ David Makes My Heart Smile ♥ ♥ ♥

It might sound crazy but I truly feel blessed that God has selected my child to be a living testament of his works and honored to be chosen to care for such a precious gift!

Today is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be Glad in it!

I could not sleep last night, my mind raced, as I tossed and turned the entire night.  As a result, I woke up late and then realized that my angel who was potty trained prior to falling ill, had a mess everywhere.  David was once able to help with transfers and bear a little weight on his feet, but that is one of the many skills we are working on relearning.  Lifting David to clean him this morning felt impossible! I quickly found myself frusterated and overwhelmed.    I wanted to be grumpy today, I am tired, and my body aches… 

As I am geting ready to loose it,  I looked over at my son, who gave me a half smile and proclaimed “come on” as he patted the bed with enthusiasm, and in that moment I realized how LUCKY I am.   I quickly decided to change my attitude. Today I woke up to a son to get ready in the morning, a job to wake for, and transportation to get me there.  Today I will have a grateful heart and an appreciative attitude because ultimately the choice is no ones but mine.  Although, I will not always have the power to change my curcumstance or things around me I will always have the power to change the way in which I choose to respond to them so...  “come on world bring it”! 

“Only 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, the other 90% of life is decided by how you react”.  ~ Author Unknown

I one day, one moment, one breath at a time… Ready, set, Go!

Aww I just sent my baby off for his first day back to school. The bus driver informed me that they had been praying and she reassured me they didn’t let anyone else sit in his seat the month he was gone ;) I am trying to get myself amped up and read to back to work today, but I feel like it is my first day and I am starting all over again. 


 I can’t wait to see my students! I value my interactions with each and every one of them, so not having the ability to work with them for over a month has left me with a void. I know all the students are going to want to know about David and what happened. They care and many of them and their families have followed his story, but I just want to get through the day without crying! Wish me luck =) 

If you ever question how Great God is... Let David Show You =)

This morning David and I woke up, went to church, had lunch, took pictures, and then were blessed with the opportunity to experience a ride in the Bat Mobile! David was awarded keys to the Bat Mobile for his Courage! He was deemed an “Honorary Super Hero”!  As he was being presented his key/ Super Hero Award I realized that today is March 25th. 

One month ago today, David laid unresponsive in a hospital bed.  He was on 100% Life Support, his organs were failing, and doctors did not think he would make it through the night.  Four Weeks later my little Super Hero was granted an experience children rarely have the opportunity to experiences ~ The Bat Cave.  He spent the day enjoying life and sharing his giggles and smile with  friends and loved ones.    

If you ever question how Great God is... Let David Show You =)  

Today is the Big Day...

Many of you have seen the video of David first opening his eyes, but most of you do not know the story behind the video…


 Bridget from Hopekids came to visit David. He was still on full life support, the doctor’s prognosis were not good, and I was one desperate mommy. David had not responded or moved since his seizure and intubation. Bridget leaned over and whispered in David’s ear. She told him that he needed to pull through and get better so that she could arrange for him to visit the Bat Cave and ride the Bat Mobile. Once she said that he started twitching his eyes, as if he was trying to respond to her.


 We decided we would have mommy sing in his ear and see if we could catch him responding (twitching his eyes) on video. We grabbed my phone and the minute we started recording he actulay opened his eyes and looked right into the camera. That moment was breath takeing!!!


 Everyone blessed to be in the room at that moment, can attest to the excitement and joy of being able to watch him open those bueatiful eyes of his. It was almost like he was letting us know he was going to pull through and he wanted to world to know as well (via YouTube of course). Today is the big day. We will be taking our visit to the Bat Cave in just a few short hours.


A Special Thanks to Gotham City Motors for the Bat Mobile experience and to Dawn Hayes ~ Studio D Photography Co for capturing the moment for us, and of course HopeKids and Bridget for your diligent work providing hope to families who need it the most.

 

He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it!

God is and has done an amazing work and I just continue to trust and know that "he who began a good work will be faithful to complete it". Although home, this week has been very hectic. I was hoping to get some rest and recover emotionally, but as of today the week has not permitted time for rest or recovery.


 I have spent the last week scheduling appointments, taking David to follow ups, fighting with insurance companies, and trying to obtain all the new equipment and medication David now needs. Emotionally the whole situation/event is just sinking in and I am trying to process many different emotions while also trying to manage life. I am not doing that too well at the present moment.


 We met with David’s school Yesterday and have determined that at least for now the Medically Fragile class will be the most appropriate fit for him, until he has fully recovered. He enjoyed his visit to Caesar Chavez, and displayed more energy than I have seen him have since illness began over a month ago. David rolled around in his chair and greeted both students and staff with such enthusiasm. It was a precious site!


At this moment we are taking everything one day, sometimes one breathe at a time. On Monday, David will return to school and I will return to work, and somehow, someway, we will get back to our normal routines and "our normal lives".

 ♥♥♥  On the bright side David is looking better with every passing day!  ♥♥♥ 

Ok God... Tonight is one of those moments that I need you to come rescue me from myself. I am frustrated and angry and don't want my human emotions to take from what you are doing in my life. 

I just have to remind myself that "nothing goes to waste" and that things don't have to 

make sense and often won't.

His Story/Our Journey does not end here…

We are still adjusting to being home and I am still struggling with my emotions. In the midst of “our crisis” being strong for David was my only option. Now that it is over, the reality and severity of the situation is sinking in. I remember those 24 hours like it was yesterday. Time stood still and 24 hours felt like 24 years.


The Questions racing through my heart, soul, and mind...
Was this going to be the battle we would ultimately loose?  Was David going to survive this? Was he ever going to wake up? Would things ever be the same? How would I get up and make it through my days without his Smile or my Dayday by my side? Eventually, I begun to get too tired to ask questions or even think.


 Knowing that neither my strength nor David’s strength could fight the battle we were facing, I had no other choice but to lay it all at God’s feet. David did survive, he woke up, and myself and many others are blessed with the ability to enjoy once again, enjoy David’s Smile, but things will never be the same!


 I have seen and experienced miracles, my faith is stronger than I could have ever imagined, I am now able to fully and completely trust God, and I know when I call on him,  he comes running. Throughout this experience I have cried out to God, on more occasions than I can count.  Somehow, someway, in my moments of utter desperation God always responded to my cries.  He has sent signs, used people, and made the impossible possible.  That changes a person!


This last month has been an emotional roller coaster, one with more downs than ups, but at the end I got off the ride, and was embraced by my Father.   Right were God wanted me, were I have needed to be for a long time, back in his arms.


Remember although,  David is on the road to recovery his story/our journey does not end here… We have a world to change =)

Slowly but surely, I am getting my Dayday back =)   We were listening to praise and worship on our way to follow up with David’s Primary Care Physician (PCP), and he began to dance.  It has been a slow process, but everyday I get a little more of my Dayday back!  Thank you Jesus =)

Don't Let Anything Go to Waste!

This was in a recent Women of Faith ~ daily refreshment titled Nothing Goes to Waste~ I could so related, and felt led to share...


 "I’ve also learned my greatest spiritual growth has sprung from my deepest human pain. Nothing in our lives goes to waste. All experiences, even a marital calamity, will ultimately work together for our good. I've also learned to be patient about not knowing what God knows. I have to trust him to take care of what I can’t see and ultimately make sense of what I do see."


Although, my experience had nothing to do with marriage, I did grow and learn so very much about trusting God and letting go of "needing to make sense of things".

I am learning to laugh about things again =)

After David failed his swallow study speech suggested that David only drink from a sippy cup with a straw. They are intended for toddlers who are just learning to drink from a straw, so straw regulates they amount of fluid. I tried to drink from one myself and they are pretty difficult to drink from. David is not enjoying having to work for his drinks. I keep catching him taking off the lids to avoid having to use the regulated straw ;). As a result I have had my bed, floors, carpets, his toys, and our clothes covered in boost. I want to be angry because he continuously spills and has created several huge messes, but I can’t help but laugh that he has figured out that he can just take off the lid and not have to deal with drinking from the darn “difficult straw”! lol

Lord I know you have already blessed me with so much, and I am so very grateful, but please I am begging, make my Dayday whole and complete again. His current state is scary and heartbreaking!


 David was sitting next to me and he leaned over and began staring at the floor, drooling, and shivering. I lifted him up thinking he was starting to seize, but he was not. I don’t know if it is the medication, his recent medical issues, or a combination of it all, but that is just the way David is and has been since he has woken up. He has had a few moments were he laughs, kisses, and even dances, but they are few and far between and for the most part he just seems lethargic and lost.

David is home but our Journey continues on...

My emotions are running wild! I am so very grateful that David is alive, that God granted me/us a Miracle, and that I am again blessed with his Smiles. I am so very confused about my current state of being and emotions.


You would think that now that David is stable and home I would relax, but the truth is I am falling apart! When he was in critical condition I did not have time to grief, process, or emotionally deal with the traumatic experience happening at the moment, I had to stay strong for my baby, who at that moment was so very weak. Now that, “that moment” is over, all of those emotions are flooding in and I feel as if I am drowning.


 I know that after any medical event with David it takes a while for things to return to normal or “our normal”, but this is a very different experience than I am use to. Brain surgery although difficult, is something David and I are both use to and know how to bounce right back from. Watching my son unable to do anything for himself hurts my heart, but than I feel guilty for being sad when I am lucky he is even alive.


 He is not longer potty training, he is still not speaking, he can not help with transfers, feeding himself, or any of “our normal” routines at the present time. I don’t want to be ungrateful for what I don’t have, because I am so very grateful for what I do have. He just didn’t come back the same, I still love him the same if not more, I value and appreciate every minute with him, but don’t know how to process or deal with the drastic changes. 


His whole body constantly shakes, he drools, and he is completely dependant. Doctors say all of these symptoms are most likely temporary, but can be permanent. I can deal with David in whatever package he comes in, I just don’t know how to process and/or adjust to the changes.


David is home but our Journey continues on, as will our struggles. I just know that this experience put me in a place where I had no other choice but to completely and fully hand my heart over to God. I had to trust him with my heart and my son. My heart still hurts but I know I am in a place where he can fix some very deep rooted traumas and pain, and this can only make me a better person and mommy for David.


 It just hurts, it’s confusing, emotional, and something I have to deal with one moment at a time. I know we are headed in the right direction so for now I am going to just keep looking up ^^^^^!

I wanted to go to church today but it is raining outside and I am nervous to take David out in this weather. Although, I got to sleep in my own bed last night, I didn’t sleep much. I have such anxiety about David getting sick. Every time he moves, turns, coughs, shakes, anything I wake up.


 David is on new seizure medication since his last hour long seizure, it is suppose to have much better effects, but until his body adjust there are some side affects (like shaking and drooling) and they scare me.


 It so different in the Hospital, if anything goes wrong I have a nurse button I can push, but at home… well I am on my own. I do trust God, but my mommy nervous and anxiety is making it hard for me to adjust and enjoy being home!

Home Sweet Home!

We are home =)  I can't not wait to take a nice hot bath, sleep in my own bed, eat whatever I want from my own fridge, and wake up and pick out whatever I want to wear to church tomorrow from my own closet.  Oh the simple things in life...

and then of course the not so simple things, like God's miraculous wonders.  I have longed for this day for weeks now, at one point I was told by doctors that David probably would not make it and if he did taking David  home would problably take weeks or even months.  


Although, this has been a long and tiresome journey I have become ever so close to you Lord, and I have needed that for quite some time now!  Thanks I can truly appreciate the journey because we have completed the battle victorious and the perspective gained through this journey has made me ever so thankful!

A recent swallow study revealed that David is aspirating while eating and drinking. This means that the fluid and or food he intakes can and is going into the respiratory tract during inhalation. The potential effects of his aspiration is that it can cause Pneumonia, which doctors do not feel his little body could handle or fight right now. We will be remaining residence of PCH for at least one more day.


When we get home David will be receiving speech therapy so that he can learn to eat and drink again. I know that sounds crazy to anyone who knows David because besides smiling, eating and drinking are the two things he enjoys most and does best!


 He will go home on a special "soft diet" and we will be supplementing his meals with liquid formula which we will be thickening with a special thickening gel. The study showed that David did not aspirate while drinking "nectar thick" fluids.


 All and all he is doing amazing and back to his flirty bubbly self. God has been so amazingly faithful and gracious to us throughout this adventure.


I have been facing some anxiety about going home, David returning to school, and the both of us returning to "our realities". I am excited yet nervous at the same time. Our world has been put on hold for the last month, but the rest of the world has continued on, and somehow we have to figure out a way to jump back in as if "our world" never stoped.


As far as my anxiety, I know that they are natural motherly concerns and I also know that my God is greater than my anxieties and any fears I might have.