Day 18: I am thankful that our God is greater! 

As cold and flu season roll around the trauma of David and my experiences last February haunt me.

I vividly remember those long sleepless nights and the doctors telling me that there was no way my son could survive.  

The virus had taken over, his organs were shutting down, he had been non-responsive, and he could no longer breath on his own.  David was on  100% life-support and quickly deteriorating.   There was nothing more the doctors or  the machines could do for him. 

I also remember dragging myself to church on no sleep and throwing myself at the altar, heartbroken I begged God for a miracle.   

And then...  I remember David opening his eyes and showing the world how Great our God is!!!

Day 15: I am thankful that my son’s joy shines through him everyday.  

The bus driver just told me that he is the happiest kid on the bus.  David smiles from 6:10 till 8:00 (then entire hour and 50 minute ride).  Then he continues to smile for the duration of the day ;)  It truly is his smile that keeps me going!

Day 13: I am thankful that this Holiday season I will not have the burden of worrying about how I will provide for my son for Christmas. 

 This year I have decided to sponsor a single parent family for Christmas. The organization that I am adopting the family through is a local nonprofit that has helped David and I immensely. They made sure we had a Christmas while I was unemployed and attending college.

It feels amazing to be on the other end of the Christmas drive this year. I would have never been able to educate myself and offer David the stability and life he deserve without everyone’s love and support and amazing organizations like Helping Hands. 

I would love to be able to adopt even more families, but I cannot do it alone. If you are not already committed to a Christmas drive and would like to be part of something amazing please let me know and I can forward you this family’s wish list. 

 Even if you are unable to help me in my efforts, remember that CHRISTmas is about sharing Christ’s love so I challenge you all to do it in any way you can!

Never fails that when I begin to get tired and/or weary  I receive a random message or call (sometimes from random strangers)  from people who want to share with us how my son, his smile, or our story has impacted their lives or that they care.   It always comes as a gentle reminder of what our journey is about.   It is about pushing forward, overcoming, and allowing our journey to testifying how faithful our God is and how strong we can be when we choose to fully rely on him for our strength. 

Sometimes it’s as simple as someone taking a few moments to share a few kind words, that helps me step back and put everything in perspective.  So to each and everyone one of you who have taken the time to encourage us throughout this journey just KNOW that you have made a difference. 

Take the time to encourage others whether you know them or not.  Life can be challenging and in the mist of those challenges it is easy for our human nature to become defeated.   Sometimes a simple reminder, whatever that may be, is all someone might need to muster the courage necessary to continue on!  You never know what a significant impact those few words of encouragement might have on somebody's journey… so share them! 

For myself,  I find that I often get caught up in “the challenges of life”  and quickly become  exhausted.I know things eventually always slow down and I always manage to pull through,  but in the meanwhile I sometimes need to be reminded of what our journey is about... Love, Courage, Hope, Faith, Grace!

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world"

In Loving Memory of Mylee ~ Thank you Hopekids for all that you do!

Today we participated in the 4^th annual Hope Walk which benefits Hopekids.

A note from Mylee’s mother Sara…

The Legend of the Backward Princess

Once upon a time, there was a princess who did everything backward.When she was supposed to be born, she almost died. But she lived, and everyone was happy.

But when she was supposed to swallow her food down, she threw it up, instead. 

When she was supposed to walk, her legs wouldn't work right. And when she was supposed to sing, as princesses do, she struggled to make words.

The King and Queen and the whole kingdom loved their Backward Princess very much, but sometimes they just didn’t know what to do for her.

They visited royal doctors. They tried magic spells and potions and sometimes, the Backward Princess would surprise them.

With her sunshine smiles, her wiggles & giggles, her dances with her mommy, and the times she could say, “I love you, daddy” she would fill the kingdom with hope.

A new princess joined the family, and she zoomed forward and loved her princess sister.

Together, the royal family filled the kingdom with their brave journeys, their love & smiles, and really awesome facebook pix.

The Queen herself went on a quest to cure the Backward Princess.  She braved the dark forest of doubt and fear, she battled the deadly swamp monsters of health care, she learned from the sages, and through it all the King protected them when they needed it, and sent the Queen a margarita when she needed that.

But nothing they tried could change the destiny of the Backward Princess and before you knew it, it was her time to pass on.  But she did that backwards, too.

She didn’t die from a magic spell or a dragon battle or a poisoned charm in fact, she hardly died at all.

Her backward story–and don’t forget those facebook posts–touched life after life after life . . . she just kept living in the hearts of the King and the Queen and her princess sister, and then her story grew beyond that, and she was celebrated all throughout the kingdom . . .

The Backward Princess taught many people how to live and love and embrace their lives and grow forward and her spirit will soar free, forever.

In Memory of Mylee, please donate to this wonderful organization.  We continue to give praise, to fight hard, and to have 24:07:HOPE... Give to Hopekids Arizona!! ♥  http://www.hopekids.org/ .   

We did it!!!!

 

David, Cadance, and I are celebrating the completion of boot camp! 

       We just past our final/practical. I can officially add Service 

                                Dog Handler to my resume ;)  

I'm a real person and there are times throughout this journey that I get exhausted, overwhelmed, and even feel defeated. Even when my human nature causes me to stumble or fall I know I will ALWAYS get back up!!! I was born a fighter and I will die a fighter and when I can't find the fight within myself I look at my beautiful little man David who is a perfect example of what courage in facing the world is all about. God is amazing and faithful & when I can't do it myself God always remind me that I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me!  

Sometimes God needs to use us as vessels to share his love with others!

Dear Friends & Family,

I have a dear friend who has two children with MPS IV. She is a single mom who has sacrificed her life to care for her children. Life has not been easy for her or her children. Yet, she still manages to embrace li

fe and move forward for her kids. Right now she has been traveling once a week, with two children in wheel chairs to get her kids the medical treatment they need. As a result, she has had to quit her job to focus solely on them and their care. This has taken a toll on her and her family financially, physically, and emotionally.

This morning she called me crying because she needs new tires and brakes for her wheelchair accessible van that she uses to transport her children. She is barley making ends meet and was overwhelmed with the thought of another expense that she does not have the funds for. I have been there and understand how hard it is to make sacrifices for your child’s needs at the cost of you financially stability. For most of us we have the luxury of taking care of our needs as they arise and I would really love to bless this mother and show her that God and people who care will help her provide for her beautiful children even if she personally doesn’t have the means to do so.

I have made a personal fundraising goal of $500.00 which would allow her to at least take care of the immediate issues with her vehicle. If everyone gave just a small amount we could make this happen very easily. Please help me show this family how truly special and supported they are!

I love you Darla, Kianna, and Justin!

http://www.gofundme.com/192c6o

You can also follow Kianna's amazing and inspirational blog at - http://kiannasmoments.blogspot.com/

Second Night Sleeping Alone

Last night when David got tired he said "come on" and we made our way to his room. We cuddled for a second but I quickly left the room so he could get used to bonding with Cadance. To our surprise he stayed in bed and didn't even get out once.  So then mommy went stalker and watched him for hours from monitors in my room ;)

Day two and he didn't even get out of bed to look for me... I think my feelings are a little hurt! LOL

Our Frist Night...

9:44pm - Uggg... It is bed time ;(  David and Cadance are in bed and mommy is going to watch them on surveillance for a few hours before I try and sleep all ALONE in my King size bed.  I think the hardest part will be keeping David in his own bed since he keeps trying to climb out to find me.  To tell you the truth it might be even harder keeping me from crawling into bed with him.  Gosh I love him my little man so much, but this separation (as hard as it is) is long over due!!!!

10:32pm - So I broke... After watching David sit at the gate and pathetically look for me, I crawled into bed with him. Right when I laid down with him and he grabbed my arms and wrapped them around him. I laid there and cried until he fell asleep. I AM A BIG GIRL... I CAN DO THIS! I just have to keep reminding myself that this is just another challenge to get us to the amazing life we have been waiting for... the life God has for us.

5:06am - We did it!!!! We both made it through the nights in our own beds. I was woken this morning to David sneaking out of bed and setting off the alarm ;) Well we made it through the night and I even woke up at 5am for a practice run.

Last night we let David and Cadance just get acquainted to one another.  David was able to sleep with me one last night. Today the two of them practiced lying in bed together. We watch them through surveillance in another room. Their bond is priceless! I cannot lie mommy is a little jealous. I know that tonight will be a very long and emotional night for me.

Last night we had the opportunity to finally meet our new Service Dog ~ Her name is Cadance and she is beautiful!  David and her had an immediate connection and they have already developed a couple of precious games with each other!  Boot camp is and will be intense and will keep me very busy for the next few weeks, but it is a very small price to pay considering that this amazing gift is a Dream Come True for David and I!!!

I just got of the phone with Brian the owner of Arizona Goldens,  I still don’t know what dog we are getting because it is a surprise, but we are officially beginning boot camp tomorrow evening.  This means that for the first time in 15 years David will be able to sleep safely in his own bed.  

Brian said they recently took our dog to an event for children with a variety of special needs so that they could expose the dog to various medical conditions and see how she interacted.  He said that the dog immediately showed interested in particular children, but all of their special needs were very different.  After speaking to the parents of the children the dog took to, he discovered that although the children all suffered from different disabilities the one characteristic they shared was epilepsy.   This is very comforting news. 

I wanted to again than SheKnows for all of the amazing things they have done for our family.  Life is so very different for us now and Thank You just doesn't seem to be enough!!!   I also wanted to thank our church. the River of Life who  took a love offering for David and I last Sunday.  As a result, we were able to collect enough money to purchase a home surveillance system.  Tomorrow morning we are having surveillance cameras installed throughout our house so that David can be monitored (for his safety) as we get adjusted to his new found independence. 

I am so very excited about this step in our lives.  Although,  I must admit that letting go of some of the customs that David and I are so use to is still a little scary.  Lately I have been working long hours and it seems as if the only time David and I get to bond and cuddle is bed time.  Him and I both having our independence is long overdue, but not having an excuse to keep him in my bed is giving mommy a little separation anxiety.

I guess that means it is time for us to create new customs and traditions in our NEW LIFE =)

Sometimes it is hard not to wonder if God hears my cries.  When I finally take the time to slow down and listen he reminds me that not only does he hear me... he answers ;)

Lord You Are MORE Than Enough!!!

As get in my car to drive home from work I feel a knot welling in my throat.  The minute I start the car I can no longer contain my tears, like a faucet the tears begin streaming down my cheeks and I can help but to think to myself:

“Sometimes I don't feel strong enough, I don't feel brave enough, sometimes I just don't feel like enough!!! “

I turn on K-LOVE and begin my drive home and the first song that comes on is More Than Amazing by Lincoln Brewster

You're the One who walked on water
And You calmed the raging seas
You command the highest mountains 
To fall upon their knees
You're the One who welcomed sinners
And You opened blinded eyes
You restored the brokenhearted
And You brought the dead to life

Forgetting all our sins
You remember all Your promises

(Chorus)
You are amazing
More than amazing 
Forever our God 
You're more than enough 
You are amazing

                                                                                                                                      

I quickly realized that I don’t need to be enough because my Lord is more than enough.  In that moment God reassured me that he is and always will be more than enough!

I can’t help but to feel so defeated at times. 

Whatever it is I am going through is very uncomfortable.  I have spent my entire adult live chasing my goals and now that I have reached most of them I am struggling with what is next.  I am the type of person who has my entire life planned out.  My plans haven’t worked out too well so letting God determine what’s next is a great thing, but very distressing for me.  I feel so lost, my future seems so uncertain. 

I do realizes that sometimes being lost is the only place I can be, that allows God to find me and me find him.  I know that it has been on my knees that I have received the most healing and my life has been the most transformed.  I am at a place of complete surrender.  On my knees is where I will stay while I allow God to determine what is next for us.  

Food for thought...

heal·ing

  

adjective

1.

curing or curative; prescribed or helping to heal.

2.

growing sound; getting well; mending.

I have had people ask me how I could remain so  faithful in God when even after years of prayers and faith David still struggles with many medical challenges.  David may or may not ever walk, but maybe David's healing isn't  about David's medical condition changing. 

Through David and his "disabilities" the broken little girl inside of me has been made whole, my father who didn't believe in the same God we do found Jesus before he died, and through David's smile hundreds if not thousands of people  around the world have been inspired and encourage through watching his journey. 

So yes, David still has the same medical conditions he was born with 15 years ago. His diagnosis may never change, but just maybe his healing isn't about changing the circumstance we have been given.  What if it's choosing to  let God heal hundreds of hearts and souls with his story is what our journey is about?

Healing is not defined as  something being removed it is defined as mending or growing sound, which has definitely happened in our lives and the lives of those around us through our experiences caused by David's condition.  

On Sunday  I laid in bed all day, being lazy watching a Touched By An Angel marathon.  I couldn't help but to feel blessed that my life has been touched by a real angel... David you inspire me and enrich the lives of everyone around you! I feel honored that I've been chosen by God to be the mother of such a precious gift ;)

This past Sunday my Pastor gave a sermon about scars, their significance, and what they represent. 

He referenced John 20:20

"When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord." 

He spoke on how it was the scars that Jesus bared in his hands, feet, and side that made him identifiable to his people.  Once they were able to see the scars the people could confirm that it was indeed Jesus Christ resurrected.

My scars run deep, but they do however verify that I love a real and loving God because as my pastor stated "if you have scars you are still alive" which is the true testament of the ordeal that caused the scar in the first place. 

In September of 2006 I was given an assignment in a reflective writing class to write about a physical scar and its correspondence to an internal scar.

This was my entry:

“His little head carries many scars.  Twenty seven to be exact.  Each one represents a difficult moment in our lives.  A challenge which left emotional scars much deeper than the visual scars seen on his head.  A reminder that 27 times doctors entered his little brain and all 27 times mommy waited and prayed, cried, and prayed some more.  His scars are a constant reminder that any day could be time for 28.”

Now David's scars total 31 and I no longer see them as a reminder of what is to come, I allow them to remind us of how much we have already overcome.   I am learning to embrace our scars for they only represent dark times in our lives if I allow them too.  My God is real and David's scars are proof that miracles happen.

  

Our scars tell a story of strength, faith, hope, endurance, and a God beyond measure.  Will you allow your scars to testify the same story????