Happy Father's Day

Fathers Day is just another one of those holidays I tend to struggle with.  It is yet another reminder of my father's absence.  It also brings back painful memories of what it felt like growing up fatherless.  My father did become an amazing father and my best friend, but that was later on in life.  As a little girl I never knew what that  love felt like. 

Now as an adult, I reflect back on my life and see the many ways growing up without that relationship with my father impacted my upbringing and  some of the decisions I made. 

It has caused me to struggle with self worth and it is made it difficult for me to understand what healthy love looks like.  

I realize as parents we do the best we can and I take that for what it's worth, but my experiences make having to watch  my son grow up fatherless even more difficult for me. 

There's no magic wands to make this a perfect world we live in and although time heals, unfortunately time can't change things. 

That being said I am so very grateful for an eternal father whose grace is sufficient!  Life can hurt sometimes, our experiences can make the journey painful, but when we learn to rely on God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!

“4 Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before him—his name is the Lord.   5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”  (Psalms 68:4-6 NIV)

No matter how much we can love one another, God is the only one

 truly capable of defining unconditional love. 

Happy Father’s Day Daddy, We miss you more than words can say!!!  

And a special Happy Father’s Day to our heavily father who has held us, supported us, loved us, and carried us through each and every one of our trials and successes. 

 “Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." (Deuteronomy 1:29-31 NIV)

Forever Faithful

I have been patiently waiting for God to show me what is next for us.  I have remained faithful, but have been discouraged as the job hunt has offered no real leads.  This morning a friend sent me a message about a job fair.  It was last minute so I quickly gathered my portfolio and made myself somewhat presentable for an interview. I prayed that this was the sign I had been asking God for. 

10 minutes into the interview the Principal offered me the job on the spot.  It is the type of classroom/population that I am passionate about working with and the pay is higher than my last position.  Oh and an added bonus... it is less than 3 miles from my house!

God is good ALL the time!!!!

Life has certainly thrown me a few curveballs...  This time last year I had gone on six job interviews and got offered all six positions.  I have been on the job hunt now for over 2 months and I can't even seem to find any special education positions available.  

I know I should be scared, I'm unemployed with no income, no health insurance, I just had to get over $1700 worth of dental work done, and my mechanic just called to tell me that my car needs $648.00 in repairs.   

With all that said, I'm very thankful for the lessons I am learning.  I'm grateful that David and I are in good health, we have a home, and God is giving me the peace of mind to know THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus".   Philippians 4:19

Me & This Wheelchair ~ by Michelle Campuzano  2013

Me and this wheelchair,  we have a love-hate relationship.  I love that we have it but hate that we need it.

I love that it helps my child get around,  but hate that it is something we can't live without.

On a bad day our chair reminds me of the limitations in our lives .  On a good day it reminds me that I'm lucky that my child is alive at all. 

Some days I hate folding it in & out of our vehicle,  tugging  it around everywhere we go.  Somedays I am sadden by the fact that everything we do and everywhere we go has to revolve around our need for this stupid yet so important set of wheels.

There are moments that I cannot stand the fact that we are identified by our chair "the mom of the little boy in the wheelchair", but I also have come to terms with the fact that it has become a permanent fixture in our lives.

Their are other days I don't even realize our chair is there because it has become part of our normal.

I love that our chair relieves me of the burden of lifting my child,  getting him from point A to point B. This chair and these two pair of wheels have become my partner, my co-pilot on this journey.  Our mission, to give my child the same opportunities every other child gets to have.

 I love our chair because it has been a tool that has eliminated some of the  burdens and limitations in our lives,  but at the same time I hate that we need it at  all.  

There are days  that my body aches &  I thank God that I have an alternate means to transport my child and then there are days that I look at our wheelchair and curse at it.  

You see our chair...  and it's wheels... Have helped us become stronger compassionate people!  Although there are paths in our lives that are not accessible to us, our chair has allowed us to travel a road that  has a trail and view that most are never able to experience.

Being lower to the ground reminds us more often to stop and smell the flowers.    Because our means of transportation is much more bulky and bigger than most. we have to make sure that we're always conscious of those around us, and considerate of their space and feelings.  

Oh and let me mention one more thing, that alternate route that we have been forced to take because there is not space or accessibility on the route everyone else is taking ,  it has forced us to slow down and enjoy the journey, to appreciate the small things, and to embrace what God has  given  us.

Although I sometimes hate our wheelchair, at the end of the day I  love the places it's brought us, the people it's made us,  and above all else I love the  journey it's allowed us to embark on!

There's been a lot on my mind lately. To be quite honest I'm really struggling right now.   Goodbyes and change are the two things I struggle most with and at the present time it seems like that's all I see.

I don't know what's next for us, but what  I do know is that I'm unemployed, with piling expenses,  and faith that is slowly diminishing as  fear takes over.  

I know that God has a plan for us!  We wouldn't of made it this far if he didn't.  So as I pray my  way through the next few days I'm just going to remind myself of all the provisions he has already made for us.

One of my staff handed this to me on the way out yesterday. They were taking bets on when I would cry so I held back the tears, But once I got home there was no holding back.  I thought it would share this to all my amazing special-needs parents out there!

"A Pair of Shoes"

author unknown

"I am wearing a pair of shoes.

They are ugly shoes.

Uncomfortable shoes.

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.

Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.

Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy.

I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.

They never talk about my shoes.

To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.

There are many pairs in this world.

Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.

Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.

Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think

about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.

These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.

They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has  a special needs child."

No matter how ugly or painful these shoes may be, I wear them proudly and I must say those shoes are one of my most prized possessions.  ;)

Students are gone,  the classroom is packed, paperwork is turned in, and Ms. C is hating goodbyes right now!  :(. 

"Every story has an end but in life every end is just a new beginning..."

On long and exhausting days, David's kisses are 

what motivate me to hold my head up and keep pushing forward!  

Shaving David can be challenging because I'm always scared of cutting him.   I promised him that if he didn't move mommy would give him a piece of chocolate. Then out of nowhere, for the first time ever,  when I was done shaving David said "chocolate".  It made me smile after a long hard day. 

We all have to learn not to sweat the small things because it truly is the small things in life we should  live for.  ;) 

Tomorrow it the big day... Graduation! I wrote the speech for my student who is graduating, but it applies to all of the families and special students who will be graduating tomorrow.

"Words cannot express how proud of you I am. You are a determined and courageous young woman. You have defied adversity.  You have looked life’s challenges right in the face and continued moving forward, and the opportunity to be even a small part of your journey is an  experience I will never forget. I know I was here to change your life, but the truth is you changed mine. If I succeeded in teaching you half of what you have taught me, I feel accomplished.

You have taught me to sing, dance, clean, and above all you have assured me that I have chosen the right path for myself. When I think of hero’s I don’t think of Superman or Wonder Woman. I think of my students, my son, and the amazing families that have helped push you all to this point.

My one wish for you is that you continue to share that beautiful smile of yours with the world, because that smile has not only brightened my life but has brightened the lives of many people you have encountered.

As an educator, member of the community, mother of a special needs child, and as friend I salute you! I salute you and your amazing families who have embarked on this long and sometimes challenging journey with you.

May you continue to be blessed in all that you do for you all are the wind beneath my wings!"

After prayer & careful consideration I have decided that I'm going to start looking into opening my own school for special needs children. I still don't know the details or what this will entail,  but I really believe  that is what I'm called to do.

I've spent the last year watching amazing families struggle to find their way in a system that seems to work against them. I believe that our children deserve the same education  "typical" children are awarded.   It would be an honor to have the opportunity to be part of bringing about necessary change to our educational system. 

Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated and embraced! 

Results are in and David and I did not make it to the semi-finals.  There were families that had over 20,000 votes.  However, as I have said before vehicle or no vehicle we still feel like winners!  Being able to pull over 2,400 votes in just 17 days took a lot of dedication and effort from you all and David and I are grateful for the support.  More than you know =)  THANK YOU… THANK YOU… THANK YOU!

Three spectacular families will be blessed with a new and accessible vehicle which puts a smile on my face.   As far as David and I, I know that God will provide in other ways as he always has.  I am still faithful that the best is yet to come and I am looking forward to all of the many adventures that lie ahead.   God bless you all and happy Friday.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen".

Hebrews 11: 1 (NKJV)

God had definitely used David to teach me to fly!

Voting has officially ended.  Whether we win the accessible vehicle or not one thing I can say is we still feel like winners.  We've been blessed with an amazing support system that we are extremely grateful for!   

God has always intervened when the limitations in our lives have held us back. I have no doubt that he will continue to do so throughout David & my journey.  

There were over 1000 deserving families who needed this vehicle, so I will be happy with whoever wins, knowing that a special family will be granted the gift of mobility.  Something many of us take for granted every day when we get up and use our legs.

I know in my heart that if we don't win this competition it is only because God will provide in other ways.   From here on out I'm excited to see this competition unravel.  Good luck to all ;)

Last Day for Voting

Wow in just 17 days we have managed to exceed over 2,200 votes and Hopefully secure a spot in the semifinals. I want to make sure that everyone knows how truly grateful David and I are for all of the love and support. 

Last Mother’s Day David and I were blessed with a new and improved accessible home, eliminate many of my burdens and the barriers preventing David from the independence he has longed for.  I do not find it ironic that this Mother’s Day we have a chance to potentially eliminate the last barrier in our way, which is mobility.  

Voting closes today May 10, 2013 at midnight. I am kindly asking that everyone vote, share, and ask all of their friends and family to vote and share our link for just one more day.

David and everyone on his Team rock!!!!

http://www.mobilityawarenessmonth.com/entrant/michelle-campuzano-phoenix-az/

ONLY 3 DAYS LEFT TO SECURE A SPOT IN THE SEMI FINALS (top 5%).  We are currently at 1,744 Votes, which is amazing considering how late we started. 

We still need ANYONE and EVERYONE to continue voting daily and if at all possible post our link to your page daily for the next 4 days, and please ask you friends and families to vote and post the link on their pages as well. I BELIEVE we can do this!  Go Team David!!!  

http://www.mobilityawarenessmonth.com/entrant/michelle-campuzano-phoenix-az/

All things are possible through Christ

David and I have been nominated to win a wheelchair accessible vehicle.  If we can make it into the top 5% of votes in the next 5 days our story will go to a panel of judges who will select a family to receive a full equipped and accessible vehicle.  

We started the competition 51 days into a 68 day voting period which gave us much less time to acquire the votes we need than our competition, but I BELIEVE!!!!!  This would be life changing for us and would eliminate a huge challenge for us.  This would mean that lifting David (who is 95lbs)  would no longer be necessary for us to travel or go places.  This has been a burden that has physically taken a toll on my body over the last few years. 

We need ANYONE and EVERYONE to continue voting daily and if at all possible share our link on Facebook, through email, and with friends and family,  daily for the next five days, and please ask you friends and families to vote and post the link on their pages as well. It would mean the world to us.

Be Blessed. Go TEAM David!!!

http://www.mobilityawarenessmonth.com/entrant/michelle-campuzano-phoenix-az/

Yay we exceeded 1,000. Although we started this contest a month late, thanks to everyone’s faithfulness we have managed to catch up. Just remember as our votes increase daily so do many of the other contestants so please bear with us for 8 more days. Please continue to vote and share with friends and family. ;) We have just a few days left (till April 10th) to make it in the top 5%.

Have a blessed day!

http://www.mobilityawarenessmonth.com/entrant/michelle-campuzano-phoenix-az/

Ok everyone in only 3 days our votes are already up to 264. The highest number of votes I have seen this far is 1600. If everyone continues to vote daily and ask their friends and family to do the same there is not reason why we should not be able to get into the semi-finals (top 5%) in the next 14 days.

Also several people are getting a message that says they have already voted. This is because you are allowed one vote per IP address. Which means only one person can vote from the same location. My work friends are having to vote from home and my mom who lives in my house is having to vote from her phone. Sorry it is making things a little difficult.

http://www.mobilityawarenessmonth.com/entrant/michelle-campuzano-phoenix-az/

God’s Perfect Will does not always feel so perfect at the times...

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope”

I have spent many years wondering why even though I have trusted God and remained faithful, I was not seeing his perfect will for me, manifest in my life.   After all I could not imagine how God’s perfect will for me would entail having a broken child,  a broken home, and a broken heart.  My life has felt like falling short of perfect was an understatement. 

The closer I drew near to the Lord the clearer “God’s perfect will” became.  I began to have revelations about where I had been and where I was called to go.  My first revelation was that my son might not be perfect in the worlds eyes, but in God’s eyes David is as perfect as they come.   I was not punished with a disabled child, yet blessed with an incredible son who God would use to share his power and grace with the world.   My broken home well that was a blessing in disguise because although at times I felt abandoned and alone I later realized that being alone saved me from more heart aches then it caused.  Oh and that broken heart well now my heart beats to God’s drum and not only has my broken heart been restored, it has also became part of my testimony and calling.  It was in my weakest moments that God taught me how to be compassionate, empathetic, and how to share his love with the broken hearted. 

So God Will doesn't always come in perfect packages, but when you continue to learn the lessons he requires of you and put your faith in him, he will give you perfect understanding and that is when you will fulfill GOD’S PERFECT WILL for your life!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.