It's funny how God always knows exactly what you need exactly when you need it... I've been very overwhelmed lately and feeling pretty incompetent.  I'm struggling with mixed emotions loving my new students and missing my old ones.   My To Do List is 10 pages long and the minute I get close to finishing it another list evolves. 

That being said, by Monday I was already feeling burnt out and discouraged.  I got on my knees and cried out to God  and by Wednesday I was reaffirmed and able to gain my peace again.  I am so thankful that I serve such a loving and faithful God!

One of my best friends is now teaching the seventh graders that I taught in fifth grade.  She just told them that we are best friends and they are very intrigued. It's hilarious to hear about the stories they tell Ms. Mann from their perspective.  

Especially the ones that  got in trouble.  She says they do a pretty good Ms. C interpretation! LOL

Happy Thursday almost Friday :)  A random Campuzano moment...  So one of my student had to  use the restroom during specials.  Right as he goes into the boys bathroom they announce a lockdown (not a test). I leave my other students in specials in the computer lab with the computer teacher and run to grab them from the restroom, but unfortunately he had just begun to go number two and couldn't force himself to go any quicker than he was already going.  We ended up having to get locked into the boys bathroom.  

All I could think is what it is my karma that I'm going to be stuck locked in a boys restroom  with poop and no AC.  Once it was over and I was reunited with my other students  all I could do is laugh  and think about the stories I will be able to tell my grandkids one day!  

After the fact, that same student told me I was the greatest greatest greatest greatest greatest teacher he's ever had in his life ;). It doesn't matter that he's only in first grade, it still made me feel special! Lol

Moral of the story... it pays to take one for the team because your students will love you forever!

Highlight of my day..

I'm trying to teach my students simple sign language so throughout the day I taught them a few signs, One of which was beautiful where you take your hand and circle it over your face.

After school ended the secretary told me that one of my little ones went up to her and said "I like your face" as she circled her hand around her face. 

The secretary didn't realize that what my student was trying to tell her was that she was beautiful. 

One of those proud moments teachers live for!!!

There have been some unexpected changes at work that I have been struggling with, but they are changes out of my control.  So I am leaving them at Gods feet  praying that he will either change the situation to give me the strength to handle it! ;) 

God has never failed us!

*I am feeling faithful and hopeful despite what things look like right now*

Here is the link to The interview that Fox 10 news aired on David going to the Bruno Mars concert. 

http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/story/22985378/2013/08/01/bruno-mars-music-helps-boy-recover-from-30-surgeries

One thing that did not make it to the news clip was that above all else all the glory for David's miraculous recovery must be given to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!! 

Every time I walk into my classroom I am reminded of how astonishing my God is!  I am fulfilling my calling & I'm blessed to have the opportunity to change lives for living.  I've also been able to watch God move mountains  to create the perfect position and environment for David & I and our needs.  

I grew up thinking that education was an opportunity afforded to the elite.  That the teaching profession was a career for "the chosen" not for people "like me".   It's almost like I felt disqualified from a life of substance & joy. 

I am so thankful that I serve a loving and faithful God!  That God would take a broken little girl, transform her life, and turn all her dreams into reality!

Living the American dream! 

UPDATE…. My classroom is AMAZING! I will be teaching kindergarten – 2nd grade ALC (Academic Learning Center). I have a smart board, cubbies, TV and DVD player, and tons of learning curriculum and games already there (ALL the things that excite me).

The other SPED teacher I will be working with is passionate, energetic. and a phenomenal teacher. I could not be more excited! I so ready to start changing the world! I am so thankful I spoke up and God answered me. ;)

“28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.” ( Romans 8:28 NIV)

I love the Roosevelt District and am so glad to be back!

What to do?

Five years ago I had my life all planned out.  After college I would find a great man, get married, begin a family, and settle in to the perfect career for me.  When things didn't happen as I had planned I became very discouraged.    I had made so many sacrifices and worked so very hard to not be able to obtain the personal goals that I set for my life.

I have questioned both God and myself on the matter.  As I have reflected on the things that "didn't go as planned" I realize that God had put me exactly where he wanted me for the time being. The situations I've been put in and the experiences I have had although, not what I anticipated for my life, have been very beneficial to me as a person and my growth as a professional.  Looking back I can now see how my steps were God ordained.  I was placed exactly where I needed to be to become who I want to be and live the life I so desire.

That being said I'm currently in a situation that I did not plan to be in.  I'm struggling with knowing if god has placed me here for a reason and to embrace the change, or if I need to follow my heart and search for change.  If where I am at is where God wants me, I will embrace the experience and adapt as necessary.  I just don't want to settle.

Today I realized that there was a miscommunication between the district and myself and the class I'm assigned to is not the population that I want to work with. Now I need to determine if if there's a purpose for me being there or if I should start looking for a different position.  My last job was not what I was looking for, but looking back I realize that through the experience I gained a wealth of knowledge and friendships that were well worth the sacrifice.

The older I become the more intense my need for stability becomes.   I'm ready to meet a man I can spend the rest of my life with, find a job I can settle in, and find a home I can raise David and more children in.    This news has thrown me for a curve ball and is a complete game changer.  What to do?

Trusting and praising God with all that I am!  "This is a only a mountain tell it to move,  it will move, tell it to fall, it will fall.   Just a little faith can change it all."

 

I have been saying this for a while now, but I just feel the need to say it again... THE BEST IS YET TO COME... THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!

Happy Father's Day

Fathers Day is just another one of those holidays I tend to struggle with.  It is yet another reminder of my father's absence.  It also brings back painful memories of what it felt like growing up fatherless.  My father did become an amazing father and my best friend, but that was later on in life.  As a little girl I never knew what that  love felt like. 

Now as an adult, I reflect back on my life and see the many ways growing up without that relationship with my father impacted my upbringing and  some of the decisions I made. 

It has caused me to struggle with self worth and it is made it difficult for me to understand what healthy love looks like.  

I realize as parents we do the best we can and I take that for what it's worth, but my experiences make having to watch  my son grow up fatherless even more difficult for me. 

There's no magic wands to make this a perfect world we live in and although time heals, unfortunately time can't change things. 

That being said I am so very grateful for an eternal father whose grace is sufficient!  Life can hurt sometimes, our experiences can make the journey painful, but when we learn to rely on God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!

“4 Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before him—his name is the Lord.   5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”  (Psalms 68:4-6 NIV)

No matter how much we can love one another, God is the only one

 truly capable of defining unconditional love. 

Happy Father’s Day Daddy, We miss you more than words can say!!!  

And a special Happy Father’s Day to our heavily father who has held us, supported us, loved us, and carried us through each and every one of our trials and successes. 

 “Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." (Deuteronomy 1:29-31 NIV)

Forever Faithful

I have been patiently waiting for God to show me what is next for us.  I have remained faithful, but have been discouraged as the job hunt has offered no real leads.  This morning a friend sent me a message about a job fair.  It was last minute so I quickly gathered my portfolio and made myself somewhat presentable for an interview. I prayed that this was the sign I had been asking God for. 

10 minutes into the interview the Principal offered me the job on the spot.  It is the type of classroom/population that I am passionate about working with and the pay is higher than my last position.  Oh and an added bonus... it is less than 3 miles from my house!

God is good ALL the time!!!!

Life has certainly thrown me a few curveballs...  This time last year I had gone on six job interviews and got offered all six positions.  I have been on the job hunt now for over 2 months and I can't even seem to find any special education positions available.  

I know I should be scared, I'm unemployed with no income, no health insurance, I just had to get over $1700 worth of dental work done, and my mechanic just called to tell me that my car needs $648.00 in repairs.   

With all that said, I'm very thankful for the lessons I am learning.  I'm grateful that David and I are in good health, we have a home, and God is giving me the peace of mind to know THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus".   Philippians 4:19

Me & This Wheelchair ~ by Michelle Campuzano  2013

Me and this wheelchair,  we have a love-hate relationship.  I love that we have it but hate that we need it.

I love that it helps my child get around,  but hate that it is something we can't live without.

On a bad day our chair reminds me of the limitations in our lives .  On a good day it reminds me that I'm lucky that my child is alive at all. 

Some days I hate folding it in & out of our vehicle,  tugging  it around everywhere we go.  Somedays I am sadden by the fact that everything we do and everywhere we go has to revolve around our need for this stupid yet so important set of wheels.

There are moments that I cannot stand the fact that we are identified by our chair "the mom of the little boy in the wheelchair", but I also have come to terms with the fact that it has become a permanent fixture in our lives.

Their are other days I don't even realize our chair is there because it has become part of our normal.

I love that our chair relieves me of the burden of lifting my child,  getting him from point A to point B. This chair and these two pair of wheels have become my partner, my co-pilot on this journey.  Our mission, to give my child the same opportunities every other child gets to have.

 I love our chair because it has been a tool that has eliminated some of the  burdens and limitations in our lives,  but at the same time I hate that we need it at  all.  

There are days  that my body aches &  I thank God that I have an alternate means to transport my child and then there are days that I look at our wheelchair and curse at it.  

You see our chair...  and it's wheels... Have helped us become stronger compassionate people!  Although there are paths in our lives that are not accessible to us, our chair has allowed us to travel a road that  has a trail and view that most are never able to experience.

Being lower to the ground reminds us more often to stop and smell the flowers.    Because our means of transportation is much more bulky and bigger than most. we have to make sure that we're always conscious of those around us, and considerate of their space and feelings.  

Oh and let me mention one more thing, that alternate route that we have been forced to take because there is not space or accessibility on the route everyone else is taking ,  it has forced us to slow down and enjoy the journey, to appreciate the small things, and to embrace what God has  given  us.

Although I sometimes hate our wheelchair, at the end of the day I  love the places it's brought us, the people it's made us,  and above all else I love the  journey it's allowed us to embark on!

There's been a lot on my mind lately. To be quite honest I'm really struggling right now.   Goodbyes and change are the two things I struggle most with and at the present time it seems like that's all I see.

I don't know what's next for us, but what  I do know is that I'm unemployed, with piling expenses,  and faith that is slowly diminishing as  fear takes over.  

I know that God has a plan for us!  We wouldn't of made it this far if he didn't.  So as I pray my  way through the next few days I'm just going to remind myself of all the provisions he has already made for us.

One of my staff handed this to me on the way out yesterday. They were taking bets on when I would cry so I held back the tears, But once I got home there was no holding back.  I thought it would share this to all my amazing special-needs parents out there!

"A Pair of Shoes"

author unknown

"I am wearing a pair of shoes.

They are ugly shoes.

Uncomfortable shoes.

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.

Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.

Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy.

I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.

They never talk about my shoes.

To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.

There are many pairs in this world.

Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.

Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.

Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think

about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.

These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.

They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has  a special needs child."

No matter how ugly or painful these shoes may be, I wear them proudly and I must say those shoes are one of my most prized possessions.  ;)

Students are gone,  the classroom is packed, paperwork is turned in, and Ms. C is hating goodbyes right now!  :(. 

"Every story has an end but in life every end is just a new beginning..."

On long and exhausting days, David's kisses are 

what motivate me to hold my head up and keep pushing forward!