I am beginning to notice that every time
I go through a trial in my life the end result is a better ME. Through my
brokenness and trials I have learned to cherish life and be content with what
God has already given me.
For many years the burden of David’s
health has plagued me. I wanted more
than anything in the world for my son to be healthy. Naturally I longed for that but, after almost
losing him three years ago I realized that I have a perfect child and our
purpose on this earth is being fulfilled with our lives just as they are.
As I have gotten older I have longed to
be young again. There are days that lifting David and caring for him takes all
the energy I have. Recently after a
cancer scare I realized how truly blessed I am that I even have the ability and
strength to do what I do. Everyday now, I
count my blessings and thank God that he has given me strength and resilience
to persevere.
Once I hit my 30’s I felt this pressure
of what my life should look like and be.
I had pursued an education and accomplished that, I own a home, have a
great career, yet still felt inadequate because in my mind my fairytale ending
included a prince charming and babies.
I was not allowing myself to enjoy the incredible life and
accomplishments I had been blessed to experience due to the fact that I was
placing my value in my marital status among other things.
It is remarkable how God teaches me some
of the most crucial life lessons through brokenness and situations far from
ideal. After an unfortunate experience
with someone I thought could be a potential life partner I realized that my
error was expecting anything or anyone but God to increase my value. In
this case I found that when I got what I thought I wanted and needed it felt as
if my value was decreasing.
I realized I was chasing my dreams and
not Gods dreams for me. Through my
shattered dreams I realized that I don’t need health, youth, a partner, or
anything temporary on this earth to complete me. God has promised that “He who started a good
work will be faithful to complete it” and I will stand on his promises.
For the first time ever in my life the
only thing I am chasing is Jesus. Instead
of seeking a partner or perfection, I now seek the Lord. As a result I can now clearly see how God has abundantly
blessed us. How he has protected us and
allowed unfortunate circumstances and encounters to build character and instill
faith in our lives. I am no longer
driven by my desire for more. I am learning to love myself and be content with
who God has created me to be. I am
discovering how to love life just as it is, in the moment, regardless of the
obstacles in our path.
So often I would become frustrated with
life when it seemed to take me down a road I did not plan on traveling. Through God’s perfect understanding I now see
that some of those roads were necessary to get me to my final destination. A place of peace, comfort, healing, and the
best of all… The presence of my Lord and
Savior!
Embrace the challenges in your life
because if you allow them to, they can make you a better you.
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